internetmessiah: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
toohappygetatme: officialdeadparrot: happyllamacrazyllama: spacecamps: do all american high school parties actually have those red plastic cups or is this a lie created by the movies This has had like 65,000 notes and NO-ONE has answered #because no one on tumblr has been to a party actually most do because they’re so convenient easy measurements FILL IT WITH WHATEVER YOU HAVE
meladoodle: my dad accidentally called me dad once
7th Grade me: I will never smoke weed in my life
12th grade me: Bruh
I need a Cinderfella
pityreblogs: sweat is just your body crying because it wants you to stop moving
cause of death: champions league
beefysquirrels: i was washing dishes the other day and i got so into it i felt like a 50s housewife and halfway through i became overwhelmed with the thought that i had to cook dinner and pick the kids up from school but then i remembered that i’m a 19 year old gay boy
Reblog, click the picture, and prepare for battle.
adriofthedead: penandpage: whisperrun: whisperrun: theneverendingdrums: anywigwilldo: after a while i became convinced that the words were mocking me Nothing happened. I WAS PROMISED A BATTLE *throws down gauntlet* Edit: Went back. This is the best thing to happen to my dashboard ever. Reblogging again because my followers need to see this. To be clear, rebog, go to your...
Plot twist: I get a boyfriend
Double plot twist: it's a soccer player
Triple plot twist: I didn't have to kidnap him
Bonus Round: He made the first step.
*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary
Being hipster is so mainstream... ewww